Working Digitally With My Digits :-)

MY EXPLORATION OF DIGITAL DRAWING

     When I first became interested in digital drawing it was in the early 90’s. My daughter had bought a used Apple computer which had an older painter program on it. I would steal a little time on it each evening. enjoying the immediacy, and the ergonomics of it. My skills were limited but working in this way became a source of divination and comfort to me. Perhaps referring to it as a source of divination seems like overstating my practice of drawing but to be engaging in this way, is like jumping into the unknown. Is there another way can you describe the supernatural, but to say it is an unknown?

      Working digitally is like dreaming. One can work quickly which allows the unconscious mind to reveal itself in an almost mercurial  way. Finally, I picked up a computer of my own,  finding many online drawing and painting programs to explore line, color, and drawing without inhibition. That is not to say I have thrown away my pencils, and brushes but the art of digital has an immediacy that affords a quickening of my revelatory process. 

Memory and Thought roost on the Mother

  Sometimes it takes me awhile to see what the message is in a drawing. It is a form of mindfulness. Drawing is a way to call for a higher wisdom. For example, the drawing above is working with the archetype of Odin’s crows Hugninn (thought), and Muninn (memory, or mind.) There was not much forethought involved in its creation, other than duality and crows.

     While much of my drawing is brought forth from the unconscious, I’m always pleased when I can stand out of my way to allow that process. In the above drawing, the message of the Divine Mother, is the creative force calling me to pay attention to the pull of thought and memory while simultaneously staying grounded in the present.  A tree is rooted, present, and responsive, but not reactive, or turning in upon itself, but branching out to the world around it. It exemplifies an unpretentious form of gratitude.  

    By working with these archetypes in my drawings. I am calling upon ancestors and acknowledging their influence. It is a living relationship. In this way, the reality of an interconnection between not just all humans living, but all in the past, all beings, and all of existence.  

The Heart of the Horse and Duality

     A couple weeks ago, I took a bad fall. Not bad enough to be seriously injured, but bad enough to be laid up for a few days. I had a mildly sprained my ankle, and bruised the already injured knee from a previous more serious accident. While neither those injuries were that serious, all the the trauma of the more serious injury got stirred up, and I felt emotionally raw  in remembering the terror I felt in that accident of getting hit by a car over two years ago. I had made an arrangement to go to a Reiki training with animals, with Mia Runanin  the day after that fall and was determined to go even though I felt horrible. The thought of missing out on a chance to be at the Ranch with the horses and llamas was unacceptable .  So I brought a tube of arnica, my essential oils, took some Advil, and brought plenty of water.

     I was so glad that I followed my intuition to go. After a very pleasant hour long drive to Petaluma we arrived at the ranch. I felt such a longing to see the horses. At the entrance was a beautiful metal sculpture of a horse in full gallop. Even though my body was sore, and stiff, I felt my heart resonated with that galloping horse, and I was excited to be with my animal friends. With animals there has always been an assumed intimacy for me. My connection to them is primal, and also seems ancestral. The woman who works at the ranch introduced each horse, and told a little about their history. As she did this, I put my head against almost every horse  I met, feeling their lovely breath against my face.  Their capacity to welcome us washed over me like cool spring water. Their vibrant playful natures revived me to the very core. We had come to do Reiki for them, but they were doing Reiki for us.  

     I was inspired to do this horse doll. Here are two sides of one doll The Yin and Yang theme emerged because in viewing a horse one can't help but notice how they tower above us but simultaneously are enormously kind creatures when they are approached without fear. They have tremendous heart, and resilience. They demand respect but are inherently available to cooperation. Since that day, I have completed 3 horse dolls. It is my way of keeping their healing with me, and honoring their beautiful spirits. I am so grateful for their amazing presence.  

Mother Hen - Chicken Goddess

I am always processing something through the dolls. Each doll is a totem of resurrection, and tenderness for me. Even when creating them with someone else in mind. The doll lives with me in an embryonic cerebral form, sometimes for days until I pick up the scissors and cut the shapes that will come together to form a symbol of healing. All my whimsy, and mothering comes to play, as I sew together the colorful fabrics, buttons, and beads. Choosing my color scheme is intuitive but based on something very real I see in the person it is being made for.

Recently, I began this process for a woman I met in a local coffee shop. Her strength, and courage in moving through the obstacles she was facing impressed me. In trying to imagine what doll would be best for her, I asked her what her favorite animals were. She replied: “I like dog, cats and chickens.” The chicken stood out in my mind because it seemed connected to fond memories of her father, and her place of origin. Those connections seemed powerful, and also, creating wings for the chicken seemed very appealing to me. Like myself, she had surgeries on her leg. Wings seemed like a wonderful flight of fancy, since walking had become so challenging. Also, in researching chickens, I discovered the chicken was an animal totem for clearing and protection. This seemed like a perfect spirit doll for my friend.In putting together this doll it served that purpose for me as well. I often wake up in the middle of the night contemplating the certainty of death, and uncontrollable pain but I think of my chicken fertile in my imagination, glorious in her wingspan, and I come to rest again, in more delightful musings.